Long time no real update, hey? Well, here's a whopper for you. And it'll probably bore you to sleep.

The mailboxes in my subdivision are in keyed grids on the side of the main street, probably for the mailperson's convenience. Cuz it ain't for mine.

Note: I leave my mailbox key in my car because it would be a pain to leave it on my keychain and have to turn off the car to grab my mail.

One day I picked up the mail as usual but made one fatal mistake. I dropped my key inside of my car. I figured it wasn't a big thing and thought to look for it in a day or 2. That didn't work as well as I thought it would. I gave my car a cleaning and a thorough looking through about 4 times before giving up. This happened over a span of 2 weeks. I decided it would be a good idea to call the USPS and get another key because I was getting pretty stressed about it. Little did I know that I was about to embark on a scavenger hunt.

I used the USPS's website to locate the closest real post office. I gave them a call and asked where I had to go to get a replacement key. They directed me to the South University location. I went there and explained my situation to the clerk. He asked me if I lived in an apartment complex because of the whole keyed mailbox thing. I told him that it was a newer subdivision. He was so confused. He kept insisting that I lived in an apartment complex. I just kept saying. "I live in a house. I lost my key, I need a new one." He told me to go to post office on Liberty to catch the mailman before he goes on his route.

I went to the Liberty USPS only to jump through more hoops. I did catch the carrier. He gave me my mail and then said something about getting the key from the Turnberry Association. I looked at him and said "Turnberry Association [I live in the Turnberry sub]? I wasn't aware one existed." He gave me my mail and told me to call the USPS on Stadium because the Keymaster lives there.

I called the Keymaster at Stadium to find out that I couldn't just get another key. I had to in fact replace the entire lock which costs $20. Yeah, talk about a big waste of money. I had no choice but to authorize the lock replacement. He said to come and pick the key up at the Stadium USPS.

I saw a mailman [not the one I talked to at the Liberty HQ] the following Saturday and asked him if he'd let me into the box so I could get my mail. When I told him about it he replied with an "Oh yeah, I know about you." I didn't know what to make of that but he was nice enough to give me my mail. He said the lock replacement should be done by the following Monday.

So I made it to the Stadium USPS last week due to other things and general laziness. I waited in line forever to pay the stinking $20. And was directed to another room in the office to fill out a form. I had to be buzzed into this room. I talked to the lady and told her the deal. She made me fill out a form and called the Keymaster to the room. She was unsure whether the lock had even been changed. Even better, the Keymaster wasn't there. Another stinking 1/2 hour wasted. This makes like 2 hours total between all of the running around between branches. She said they'd give me a call when the keys were ready.

I decided to go there and see if the keys were there today since it had been about 5 days since I paid the $20 and didn't receive a call. I found out that they didn't even call when they had the stinking keys. The only good thing that came out of this is 3 keys as opposed to the 1 that I originally had. The bad thing is probably a late fee on my water bill.

So how's that for a long-ass entry? Welcome back, bitch!