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02.28.2003 - TV Shows that Should Star Michael Jackson
I saw this on Entertainment Weekly. It's pretty funny.
Some 27 million people tuned into "20/20"'s "Living with Michael
Jackson," and Fox's "Michael Jackson: The Footage You Were Never Meant to
See" trounced Aaron and Helene's "Bachelor" break-up special. Clearly,
America can't get enough of Jacko. So why stop now? Here are a few of the prime
time shows we'd like Jackson to crash, with or without his baby Blanket.
"CSI" When guest star Dr. Jackson reveals that chimps and humans
have "identical" DNA, Grissom and the team are forced to toss out the results
from all of their previous cases -- and, in a horrifying twist, cast a
suspicious eye at Bubbles for a triple homicide.
"Joe Millionaire" This time, the guy really does have $50 million --
and then some. The twist? The winner is stuck with Michael freakin' Jackson.
"Law & Order: SVU" Jackson becomes a walking, talking crime scene
as the dedicated detectives hunt for the twisted plastic surgeon responsible for
his latest nose job.
"Alias" Forget SD-6: Sydney and Michael discover the real mastermind
of evil is… Tommy Mottola!
"Fear Factor" First, contestants get their hair set on fire, then
they're dangled from a balcony with a towel over their heads. The big finale?
Outrunning a pissed-off Joe Jackson.
"Sex and the City" Granted, he'll blush more than Charlotte when the
conversation gets randy. But when it comes to shopping, could they be any better
matched? Manolos for everyone!
"The Real World: Neverland" "Have you met the new housemate? He
dresses funny, he won't share the Playstation, and he's TOTALLY immature!"
"American Idol" We can hardly wait to hear Simon say, "Your voice
is okay, but your look? Simply horrendous!"
I'm adding one more.
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Crazy ass vampire whose minions are wax statues from Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. He climbs trees and uses them as
bases to attack civilians [which are little boys of course]. But unlike standard vampires who can be killed by being staked, beheaded or sunlight [sunlight only melts his face it don't kill him], he can only be killed by a barrage of holy water balloons and/or little spiders."
"I'm embarrassed"
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