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Brains » Current Brain · Old Brains

07.24.2001 - Did You Get the Mail?

Over the years my dad has developed this strange obsession with the mail. Lately, he has been asking me if I picked up the mail as soon as I walk in the door. I normally don't check the mail because I figure he always gets it since he be so anxiously expecting it. But I don't take into account that all he ever does anymore is eat and watch tv all day and all night. I would compare his obsession with mail to a kid running to an ice cream truck in the summer.

Ok, so I got home from work yesterday and was kinda tired. I walk in the door and the first thing my dad asks me is "Did you get the mail." I replied with something like "No, the mail isn't as important to me as it is to you." He went all crazy and started yelling at me. I was like "hold up you sit on your fat ass all day watching tv you coulda gotten the mail." I also said something like "Why you so compulsive about the stupid mail?" He yelled something like "I'm waiting for important BILLS." That just sounded really funny to me. The mail is normally delivered around 1:00 pm, I get home around 6:30 pm...thats like 5.5 hours of time wasted not reading mail. I don't understand why he can't grab that crap himself if he so excited bout the damn mail. I got a call from Kryssa [who just got back from Greece] and walked out the door to get the mail while my wack ass dad was still yelling at me. He be trippin over the dumbest things. Later on, he was being all nice to me, he is so blew out. I don't understand what his damage is.

I'll eat you if you make me mad.Before the mail incident:
I went to Toy Works in Lincoln Park to look for the new Transformers: Robots in Disguise figures and I saw the fattest person in the world walking her kids. She was of course showing the most skin humanly possible. She was wearing a tank top and short shorts. I'm tellin you this tank top really contained a tank, yo. Her arms and legs looked like huge inflated hot dog links, it was so gross. It also kinda reminded of the Stay Puft Marshmellow man. I just don't understand how she could move. My guess is about 350 - 400 lbs. I would just hate to be one of her kids when she gets hungry. She might try to eat them. I just want to clarify that I'm not hatin on overweight peeps, I was for a long time. Just don't let yo'self go, yo. It ain't healthy.

Asif Ver. 3.00