Ricky wanted to go to Chicago to check out the area because he is thinking about living there. I figured it would be a good time for us unemployees [Ricky, Al and myself] to bond so I went along. Besides, what else was I gonna do? Look for jobs?

Tuesday - The trip started off pretty standard. We had breakfast at the Cracker Barrel in Belleville. There were two things that stood out at the Barrel. The host who had a beard running down his whole body and our overenthusiastic waitress. I ordered pancakes and she said "Excellent choice!" I thought it was kinda wack but thats cool. She was just trying to be nice. When she brought my pancakes over she asked "Don't they just look beautiful?" I was like yes they is. I fell asleep for most of the way to Chicago. When w got to town we saw some freaky leotard wearing power walking men streetwalking while we looked for a hotel. After we settled with a hotel we went to a Pizza Place and saw this ghettoed out Audi with a homemade spoiler. It looked so bootleg. Al took a picture but erased it later. There was this skanky looking girl at the Pizza Place with an ICP tattoo on her hand. Ricky of course whenever he hears mention of anything wack from myself or Al starts ripping on stuff without noticing that usually someone next to us inspires the comment he heard. We stopped at Wicker Park and went into a record store. Ricky picked up a poster and turned it into an airplane. He was either sticking it in my ear or hitting my head with it. We left the store and he was still playing his airplane games. I grabbed it and ripped it. He had a piece and was hitting me with it. I retaliated with a neck grab. The local bums saw what was going on and offered to help Ricky from my ruthless attacks. What up with that? We walked around for awhile and ended up going to Subway for a late dinner. I don't know what the crap happened but this bum comes in with a footstool setup and sits next to us. He asked us if needed our shoes shined and proceeds to tell us that he does gym shoes too. I don't need my gym shoes shined, what do I look like some ghetto rapper or something? My shoes don't shine anyways. Ricky, offered to buy the bum food and the guy had the nerve to aks for a steak sub, I was like HELL NO. Anyways, this other bum comes in and the first one leaves like he is scared or something. The new bum was worse. I mean its not like we were even talking to him. He called himself the Shoe Shining Spider, like anybody cared. I gave him my leftover chips to get rid of his stank ass, it didn't seem to work. After a while he just left. We got back to the hotel and saw Cyber Cop II, the best B-movie ever.

Wednesday - We went to the Museum of Contemporary Art [which everyone hated] then headed to a suburb where Ricky wanted to go to church. What sucked about this burb was there was nothing to do, it was extremely ghetto and we had 3 hours to kill before church. There a cool lookin hot dog joint that I figured would be a good place to eat. Boy, I was wrong. All I wanted was a 2 hot dogs and chili cheese fries. I didn't know that it would cause a freakin controversy. When I asked for chili cheese fries the woman looked at me like I had taken some crazy pills. They had a setup where you get 2 hot dogs, fries and a drink. I wanted to get chili and cheese on those fries. Sounded easy enough. The dumbass lady gave me an order of regular fries and chili cheese fries. I really didn't want to bother with it anymore. So I just paid and ate. A guy came up to counter and commented on the 50s music playing. The crackhead woman said "Yeah, this is a 50s place." 50s my ass, the next song that played was Gloria Gayner - I Will Survive. After church we went back to the Rush St. area and got some tacos from a local place that stays open pretty late. I noticed that a guy was getting arrested by 4 cops on the way past. We looked for another place to eat but ended up coming back. The arrested guy came back picked up his food, which was very wack. As we were in line this drunk ass corporate guy pulled up his pants and turned them into knickers. He was saying something about how they would notice him and give him his food like they did the arrested guy, but the thing was the they were behind a really high counter. They never would've seen his drunk dorky knickers. I think Al made a comment about a wig because he was behind an older black woman with a wig on. Ricky starts singing to me about wigs. I had to stop him an tell him about the wig lady in front of Al. He started singing about gay people and didn't realize that there were 2 gay guys behind me. Way to go, Ricky!

Thursday - We went back to Wicker Park and got some Mexican food. One of their employees was dressed up like a hot dog and passing out flyers. It was funny watching him trying to fit into the bathroom. We headed over to IKEA afterwards. Elissa was the only one of us who bought anything, and she wasn't even with us. On the trip home we were all pretty slap happy. Al was wearing dark clothes and sitting in the backseat. Ricky's stereo display emits a bright blue light that lit up the car pretty good. Al became the backseat Floating Blue Head.

Al was the only one of us that bought anything. We just bought food and ate way too much. Good times, though!